24-hour-water-mark

It's almost been nearly twenty-four hours since my account was deactivated, and I can already sense some minor changes in things.

I feel like the euphoria and thrill of stepping into the unknown has worn off.

Look how boring life can be. One gets euphoria and thrill by deactivating a Facebook account. I can't imagine what kind of emotions I would experience if I were to actually go on a real adventure. It would probably be asking too much of me. I'm one for small steps, I guess.

I also get to feel very pretentious when people tell me they'll message me something on Facebook. My non-chalaunt reply of, "Oh, you'll have to text it to me. I don't have a facebook anymore," escapes my lips, giving me all of the ego fuel I ever received by simply having a Facebook account in the first place.

This is a lose-lose situation.

I think when it comes down to it, with or without Facebook, I am an egotistical person. It is not that Facebook makes me egotistical, or not having Facebook doesn't make me egotistical. The fight with my ego will be a fight that I will have to deal with to some degree or other, with or without the devices that play off of ego (such as Facebook). It is inherrent to my humanity.

So maybe this will branch into more than just deactivating a Facebook account. Maybe this could be a journey into destroying the illusion of Ego, or even just understanding what Ego is. It's easy to say "Oh, I'm such an egotistical person. Look how self-righteously demeaning I am." But I don't even know what ego means. Is it a bad thing, a good thing, a necessary thing? Who thought of the idea of Ego in the first place. Where are my psychology friends that can answer these questions for me?

I've realized since my deactivation of Facebook, I have latched onto this blog like a leech. I guess I need some sort of dose of self-expression, be it simply putting words on a screen for somebody to read.

I do miss scrolling. And seeing funny pictures of puppies, right after liking a quote by Gandhi and poking people I'm too afraid to have real conversations with in real life. I miss those days...