Santiago

Today, a friend followed me Everywhere I went-- my classes, work, lunch, rehearsal, bathroom, and the like. I didn't know him until today, and I do hope he'll be gone by tomorrow. His name is Santiago and he is a preposterously large zit on my face. He's an audacious fellow that insists on being known by anyone who walks by. He has a squeaky voice with a Mexican accent and he likes to whisper in my ear that I'm a ruined man because of him and should never look anybody in the eye again. He dances across my face in his Mexican Hat Dance style, drawing everyone's attention to him rather than me. It's disturbing and unsightly and I must purge him from my company as soon as possible.
Sadly, I listened to those lies that Santiago told me-- that I was ruined because of his ugliness and that I wasn't worth looking people in the eye, because I would probably disturb them. Today was a rare day that I had head phones in my ears everywhere I went-- listening to Stars, the National, etc., never acknowledging anybody, because I most definitely did not want to be acknowledged. Somehow, Santiago made me less of a human than anybody else, because I was ugly and they weren't.
There's a movie out called How's Moving Castle, and in this movie, Howl, the one with the moving castle, profoundly questions "What good is life if I cannot be beautiful?"

I'm too tired to go on.
The end.

I have no idea what to call this one.

In the words of Jesus:

"Look, you guys are running around like monkeys trying to get people to clap, but people are fallen, they are separated from God, so they have no idea what is good or bad, worthy to be judged or set free, beautiful or ugly to begin with. Why not get your glory from God? Why not accept your feelings of redemption because of His pleasure in you, not the fickle and empty favor of man? And only then will you know who you are, and only then will you have true, uninhibited relationships with others."

Yes, Jesus really did say this, word for word-- especially the Monkey part. There most definitely were monkeys in Israel.

True or False: The purpose of life is to glorify God.

Yes? No?
I'm not really sure anymore.  I was brought up being told this was true, and all the while i really did believe it, and I really did want to glorify God with who I was. I didn't really know what that entailed... what exactly did Glorify mean? Who exactly is God? What happens when we didn't glorify God? Were we sent to Hell? Or were we just sent on a guilt trip until we got over it and then just tried harder, only to fail again and feel the guilt again, knowing that we didn't 'meet up to God's standards of holiness' in glorifying God. (I'm not sure if that sentence should end in a question mark). ..... ?

For the sake of this blog, I will go along with this idea, though I don't really know what it means.

Have you ever thought of this: The very best way to Glorify God is to get your glory from God.

...

?

Hello, Hurricane. You're not enough.
Hello, Hurricane. You can't silence my love...

Sorry. I didn't really know what to write in that moment of time, and the music was just so good, and I really like those lyrics, so I just thought I'd sing to you through this screen that acts as some sort of mediator in our relationship. Did you like it? I know I sing a bit off key. Anyone can sing on key.  But I do sing with some feeling, don't I? I do.
Back to this ground-breaking idea that will quite probably fill up every Beth Moore and John Piper bible study book in the next four years.

Get your glory from God.
Is it a selfish idea? It depends on how you look at it. If you look at it with the conventional idea that to glorify something means to set it higher than yourself, then you're very quite wrong, frankly.
That's not even close.
Well... I mean, it's kind of close.... but not really, and here's why. When put in this context, it sounds like I'm just saying that you need to lift yourself higher than God, so that God must "glorify" you now, instead of the other way around. Now, you're the man in charge and God must grovel at your feet, singing "Holy, Holy, Holy" for all eternity.
This is a terrible idea that I do not like at all and never had any intention of expressing.
Ew.

Rather, think of it like this.
Where do you get your value? Admit it or not, you get your value from other people's opinions of you. Am I a good teacher? Am I a good basketball player? Am I cooler than he is? Am I more righteous than you? Yay, I'm pretty and trendy enough to be prom queen. Yes, I defeated Halo in one day and I can brag about it to my gamer friends. Huzzah, I wrote a witty blog that people will enjoy. Am I artsy enough? Am I spiritual enough? Do I like obscure enough music for people to think that I'm Indie? Do I use the right language and word choice so that people think I'm deep? Will Argyle socks make me look quirky and give me more attention? Will being different in any way give me more attention and, somehow, more self worth than anybody else?

This is all nonsense.

This is how we all live.
Everything we do, we do so that we might be acknowledged by other people. It's sickening. I'm writing this blog right now with the hopes that maybe Christy or Aunt Barb or Emily Steadman or Emily or Erin McLellan or anybody else might leave a thoughtful message of gratitude or something. Isn't that pathetic? Isn't it sickening? It is.
Not to say that I don't like blogging. I do, and not just because I get acknowledged and praised every once in a while for a "job well done." I like blogging because it's a free way to express myself to any willing eye. I like to toy around with words every once in a while and make "word sex" (not my terminology) to create (or reproduce.. haha...) phrases and sentences and paragraphs that are just fun to read. I have a long way's to go to actually be acceptable at it, but hey, I enjoy it.
All this to say, we do everything that we might get some sort of praise or "glory" from other people.
And who are they, that we might value their opinion to the point that we'll change our lifestyles just so that they might think well of us?
I know this is an age old saying that contemporary musicians like to repeat over the radios, and which awkward, identity-less college kids make their anthem, but really just consider: Why should we care about what other people think?
There is no reason at all. Everyone is just as screwed up as you are. None of us know what true beauty really is, and we have way too many different opinions of what good and bad actually are, and most of us spend more time being shallow and uncreative than deep and artsy. And even if someone is artsier than you are, or more talented in music than you are, or prettier than you are, well.... good for them. But it simply doesn't matter when it comes to where you get your value. If they don't like you or don't think you're special, it doesn't matter. They're elevating themselves to the place of Judge, and that's the most audacious sin anyone could commit.
Stop running around trying to get people to clap for you. People are fallen, separated from God, so they have no idea what is good or bad, worthy to be judged or set free, beautiful or ugly, to begin with. Their favor is fickle and empty.
You're just looking for an authentic redemption from the place that only offers a fake one.

Get your glory, get your value and your personhood, from the knowledge that God, the one who really knows beauty (he created it) and who really knows what is good and bad, takes delight in you. Accept your feelings of redemption because of His pleasure in you. Only then will you know who you are.


Okay, so that was another cheesy, "tie-into-a-spiritual-lesson" blog, I know. But I think it's valid.
And don't criticize me for talking about God like I have no doubt he exists, when yesterday I wasn't quite sure. I don't care what you think, anyway.

:)