Now back to God.... again.

I feel that in every conversation I'm in, or every blog I write, or every song I compose, somewhere along the lines, if you let it run on long enough, it comes back to some sort of spiritual contemplation. If you tried to have a normal conversation with me (Please try...) about poetry (go read the Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and discuss it with me on the phone) or baseball (baseball?), something sort of goes wrong in the middle and we end up talking about the question of morality of homosexuality, or if the book of Jude really does belong in the Bible (Jude cites from books of the Pseudopigropha-- books that Christianity as a whole looks down upon with a pointed nose).
I suppose it's not all bad. I mean people should be aware of those kinds of things, perhaps. But honestly it makes me sad. What happened to the days where we could talk about Billy Joel and not have the conversation go any farther? I miss those days. A music conversation remained a music conversation. A politics conversation stayed more or less in politics. Biology remained biology and How many beers you drank last night doesn't go any deeper. Perhaps we would move onto other expoundable topics such as how great of a hangover you had afterward, but everything could remain sort of unspiritual. Is this a bad thing to wish for?

I suppose the greater questions of the Spiritual life have a bit more weight to them than the question of your favorite superhero (Tonight it's Wonder Woman!). Perhaps it is ultimately more important to spend your days letting your spiritually curious side get the better of you and "ruin" every conversation you hold with a "so tell me what you believe about the Virgin Mary" or "What are the stronger points of evolution?"
Maybe that's all very important.
But it's consuming me---- without my consent, no less!
I'm just tired. All of the unknown mumbo jumbo of this world is making me tired and a bit grumpy. I can't watch a movie now without bringing the theme of the story back to some sort of attempt at a deeper understanding of Spiritual living.

I guess you could say I'm being haunted by God. I want to rest and live my life and play my games... but his figure is always there in my mind, like in a scary  movie, when the main ditzy blond is brushing her teeth, spits and rinses her mouth, then looks back up at the mirror and sees the eyes of a creepy ghost-man staring deathly into the mirror at her. God is something like that. I can't go buy a wii... my mind always goes back to the stories of Jesus using whatever He had at the time to do the most good for the broken down people around Him,  and I just feel bad for not giving enough to the bundled up Salvation Army guys outside of Wal Mart. I can't get drunk at parties... God is there and tells my brain that I'm not ready for it. I can't even eat breakfast in peace--- God pops up and reminds me I should be thankful. I can't write a vain love song, because the big fat questions that God hasn't answered about Himself consume my mind and don't leave room for anything else. I'm constantly reminded of how sinful I am. I'm always aware of the selfishness of the human heart, and I'm always daunted by the big question mark that God wears as a robe.
Christianity has made me mad. Mad both in the crazy sense and in the angry sense. It has consumed me in the time that I don't want it to.

Now I have the desire to go buy a Wonder Woman comic book. I'll probably feel bad the whole time and wonder if I should be reading the comic book rendition of the Bible instead.
I wonder if they have those....